Calm Heart
by Whiskey Rose
Summary: There is a headcanon out there that states that John is still alive. When he went out to travel, he went through the process of ghoulification. In my RP, Cass sets out to find a way to fix her heart. This is what happens when she enters Vault City.


Cass had only been in Vault City for a day and she was already tired of it. It wasn't Vegas. The people here were too cautious and treated any outsider like they carried some kind of disease. She just wished to be home now. It was odd to think that. She actually had a home, even if she continued to travel with her caravan. Yet here she was. However, she couldn't go home empty handed. Benny would never forgive her and she would have to deal with Arcade's mouth.

She headed to the bar that her mother said he owned. The Spitoon. It was a long shot but maybe whoever owned it now would know something. She didn't suspect her father would have just left it in anyone's hands. A moment of hesitation and she walked in, looking around. There were a few patrons in there but no one bothered to move from their spots. Her hair was still pinned up and she displayed her pendant. For all she knew, whoever owned it would recognize it. Perhaps it would be a good conversation starter.

The man behind the bar was nursing a bottle of whiskey and looked more metal than flesh. There was something very familiar about him but she couldn't quite place it. At least not yet. He spoke up before she had a chance. "Welcome to the Spitoon. What can I getcha?" He seemed suspicious of her. But then, she had expected that from Vault City.

Cass moved to the side, as someone decided that was the best time to leave. She pushed her hat back. It was a way for her to look over the man and decide real quick if she should bother to move away from the door. "Well, as much as I would love a nice shot of whiskey, I am looking for someone. You got time to talk?" And then he reacted in a way she wasn't expecting.

"Sure. I'll start. Where the hell did you get that pendant? Steal it off a tribal?" His voice steadly grew before he slammed his fist onto the bar, leaving an indent. Most of the patrons sitting there moved their glasses in time. They must be regulars. "That how you get your kicks? Stealing from others? I ought to kill you here you stand." His eyes narrowed, finger on the trigger of a shotgun.

"Well, at least someone recognizes it." She didn't make any sudden movements. Nor did she seem all that scared. It was not the first time she had been threatened and with Lucky, she had been in worse situations than this. "As for this pendant, no. I did not steal it off a tribal. My mother gave this to me." To prove a point, she spoke the same words in the tribal language she had been raised on.

The gun fell to the floor and the man seemed shocked. His eyes were wide as he studied her face and features. He could see traces of himself as well as her mother. "R-Rose of Sharon?" He seemed to be in disbelief as he fell back into a rusty old chair. "I'll be damned. It is you…"

It was her turn to be suspicious. She took a step towards the bar, looking over the metal man. "So, you know me. I guess that is a good thing. But who the fuck are you and how the hell do you know me?"

He crossed his arms and laughing. "Got a mouth on you, just like your old pop. So how'd you find me all the way out here? I left your mother near Vegas." He took his bottle of whiskey and took a long drink from it. He chuckled now. Something was damn amusing. His daughter, a full grown woman, was standing in front of him.

The way he was talking, he was John Cassidy. But that was just impossible. There was no fucking way. Cass had accepted a long time ago that he had died. Her mother swore up and down that he was not a deserter. That he loved them both. "Yeah? And how the fuck did you know him? I know the old man is fucking dead. I just need some information and then I'll leave." Her temper was flaring and there was no whiskey to calm her.

He shrugged and walked out from behind the bar. He looked her over, still in shock that his daughter had come all the way out here. "Some would say I knew him better'n anyone seein' as he's me. I'm John Cassidy. Nice to see you again, Rose of Sharon." He stood over her, arms open for a hug.

And then it all clicked. She looked up at him and saw the same face looking down at her when the walls of the crib were arond her. His voice told stories of great adventures he had, how he was a hero. Cass' temper got the better of her and she walked to him, punching him as hard as she could. It was pointless as she nearly broke her hand in the process. A string of curses came from her as she turned her back to him. The tears that welled up were from the pain. At least, that is what she told herself. She was crying because of pain. "This is bullshit. You are a fucking liar. This is some kind of sick fucking joke."

He took the punch, having seen it coming. She had every right to be mad. But, damned if he didn't stumble back and fell on his ass. "My girl's got a hell of a right hook. Gonna break your hand that way, though." He noticed when she cursed and when she started to cry. The patrons had turned to watch this show. He didn't give a shit. The man stood up with a sign, walking over and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Ain't a joke, darlin'. I'm the son of a bitch who left you out there."

She turned around, pulling herself out of his grasp roughly. "Don't fucking touch me! You piece of shit, you have no right!" She hadn't expected this. Her parents were dead. They were both dead. That is the only explanation to why he never came back to save her. She covered her mouth, trying not to scream anymore. But that didn't last long. "You… you've been alive this whole time?"

John sighed. "I know. I was wrong to leave but I thought you would be better without me." He spit blood to his left, hitting the lip of a small brass vase. "So why? If this is how you would act, why did you try to find me?"

She shook her head, about to correct him when she realize that there were people in this bar. Worse than that, they had all turned to watch the show. "You know… I never thought I would be having this conversation. And I sure as fuck am not having it front of a bunch of strangers." She moved to walk past him. "Vault City isn't big to outsiders. Find me if you want."

"Rose, wait." He sighed and motioned to the back. "Come to the back room. No one can go back there." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come on. Just gimme a chance to explain." As much as he didn't believe it, he just wanted to talk to his only child. The one he presumed dead or worse in the Mojave wastes.

She stopped at the foor. She should leave. Just walk out and never come back to Vault City. Cass knew better. Her mother would have wanted this. She looked down to the pendant, brushing her fingers over it. She motioned for him to lead the way. Once in the room, she was back on the defensive. But damned if her hand wasn't killing her. She pulled the gloves off, inspecting the damage. She would use a stimpak but she had something better to deal with. "So, talk."

The first thing he noticed was the ring on her finger. He just glanced at first but quickly did a double take. "Are you… is my little girl getting married?" He grinned, wanting to ask more about that. But he shook his head. "No… we've got talking to do. So about me and your mother. I was traveling with this vault dweller back in the fourties and we came along a little settlement." He took a drink from his hip flask and sighed. "After out little trip, I made a little life for myself there, but when she had you, they shunned me. Said I was bad for their people. I decided it was time for me to explore. I wet as far south as two sun and as far nothing as the Zion caverns before I came back here and settled down in my old watering hold. So that's my story. Anything else you want to know?"

When he mentioned her ring, she became offended. It was like he had no right to know anything about it. He wasn't supposed to act like her father, like he cared. "You know she's dead, right? After you left she just kind of lost the will. Kept saying you would come back." She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "And the elders didn't take too kindly to me either. So, I left. Seems I'm more like you than I thought. Should have seen that coming." She ripped the hat off her head, starting to pace. This conversation was never supposed to happen.

He punched the wall closest to him. "God damn it! Those damn elders! I asked them for one damn thing! I just wanted her to know why I left!" He growled and held his head in his hand. "Well, you did the right thing given the circumstances…" He stood with his back to her for almost a full minute, almost crying. "For what its worth… I never chose to go."

"So why didn't you tell her?" She ran a hand through her hair, a nervous habit picked up from her mother. "How are would it have been to say? She would have picked up and moved with you. You know that… she loved you."

He shook his head. "You know how the elders were. They didn't want anyone to disturb their close-knit society." His shoulders slumped. "I wanted to take both of you with me but they escorted me out at gun point…" He toyed with the metal play on the back of his left hand. "I wanted to see you grow up."

She couldn't stop herself from playing with her hair. The clip that held her hair in the bun fell. Her heartbeat was becoming irregular again. Slowly, she was coming undone. "I-I knew you hadn't deserted us. I just… I assumed you died. You got lost. Something. Mom was so adamant about you coming back. You had to. And when I left, I didn't feel the need to find you because the only reason you never came back was because you had died."

He caught the clip as it fell. His own heartbeat was starting to match hers, a strange sensation. "It would have been better if I did kick the bucket. Hell, it wouldn't hurt so much for anyone…" He put the clip back in her hair, straightening it. "Rose… I'm sorry."

She shook her head, trying not to cry. God, this whole trip had been nothing but tears for her. She hated being sober. "No. No. It wouldn't have been better. I just… I came out here to find information on my heart condition and I found you. I've gone my whole life assuming you were dead because you couldn't just leave. You wouldn't. I was not expecting to ever see you again." In the back of her mind, she should have corrected him for calling her by that name. She had grown to dislike it over time. Everyone just called her Cass. But for him, it just sounded right. "I don't hate you. I never had. I'm sorry for reacting this way."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "It's alright. Hell, I didn't expect you to react any differently." He put on hand on the metal plate on his forehead. "To be honest, any auto-doc can help you out with your heart if you've got to right holotape. I've got one lying around here, if you want to take it with you." She moved away from her, rummaging through some boxes. He finally found a holotape with a fading label that read "Heart Surgery Protocol." Hesitantly, he handed it to her. "But… you could always stay and help me run the Spitoon."

"Wow. I would have loved to have known that years ago." She covered her mouth to stop that line of conversation. It would lead to nowhere. When he asked her to stay with him, she paused. Part of her wanted to stay, a big part of her did. She wanted to know the man her mother loved. The man who gave her the name and pendant. But she knew she couldn't. "I'm getting married soon, Dad. And we're living in Vegas. Not to mention Lucky."

The word rang in his head, leaving him wide eyed and slack jawed. "I… yeah, I understand." He still couldn't believe she had called him her father. He knew it to be true but that made it much more resounding. His only child stood before him and called him dad for the first time ever. "Well, you'd better visit, damn it. I don't want to go all the way down there and drag your ass back. My servos can't handle all that dust anymore."

"Oh my god, I have to bring Benny here. Crap…" She laughed and played with the sleeve of her jacket. The image of the man popping into her head. "Well, that is not happening. So, I'm trying not to freak out by laughing. So, sorry about that." And now she just had this overwhelming urge to hug him. She was worried that would be a little awkward. "But I will visit… from time to time. Vault City is a bit abrasive but I'll deal with it to see you."

He smiled. "Good. There's always a bed here for you." He hesitated for a moment before pulling her into a hug. He squeezed her against the metal plate that was his chest. "God damn it, Rose. I love you so much. You've becoe someone I can be proud of."

She was shocked at how hard she held onto him. Cass clung to him as if she'd fall off the earth if she didn't. "I'm not sure if 'failed caravan owner' is high up on that list. Not to mention, drunk and whore." She had better shut up. No need to talk like that. "I love you too, Dad…" But was out and she couldn't take it back. She didn't want to, to be honest.

He chuckled, shedding a tear. "Don't even care about that. You're a strong person now. Nothing else matters." He stroked her hair, feeling the softness that he recognized as her mother's. "My little girl… so who is this guy you're marrying? Some deadbeat?"

Cass was only strong because she had to be but, she wasn't alone anymore. And that was a big step for her. Benny popped into her head again and she snickered. "Okay. He's an asshole. Not even joking. Very much about himself and having luck. Luck is the best thing in the world to have. I've known him for sixteen years now. He wanted to take over Vegas and shot one of my best friends in the face to do so." She stopped. "Wow. That sounds really bad, doesn't it?" She shook her head, smiling. "Look, I've known and loved Benny for sixteen years. He's an amazing guy who has done some fucked up things for his tribe. We all have skeletons on our closet. At least I have known what his are and he loves me for all my flaws."

He just kind of smiled. "Whoa, sweetheart. Don't get defensive. I trust your judgement. He sounds like a real prick but a good one." He stroked her cheek, just enjoying his short time with his daughter.

"I've just known him for so long that its how we speak about each other. I don't know what he'd tell someone when asked to describe me. He's the reason why I am out here. The reason I was looking for you." She toyed with the ring on her finger, taking a moment to calm herself down. "At least I am truthful about him."

He nodded. "Well, you have my blessings and—" He stopped as he played with his own ring. A silver band he wore to remind him of the family he had. "Give him this." John slipped the ring off and handed it to her. "Its something my father gave me."

She looked at the ring resting on her palm, confused about why he had given it to her. "B-but why? I mean, you don't have to do this, Dad." She looked back up at him as her fingers closed around the ring. "I am inviting you if I do end up planning it. I-If you can get away. But I could get back and Benny could have it all set up."

He smiled weakly. "Rose, you've got a life to live. We're both adults now and I want you to live it with your husband." He stroked her hair once more. "Get the hell out of here, kid. Its time for you to get back to Benny."

She wiped a tear away, laughing. "Kicking me out, I got it." Still, she pulled him into another hug. "And thanks for the name. Got a nice ring to it." Cass took a step back, still smiling. She had to leave though. Or else she would stay there and Benny and Lucky would never see her again.

John smiled, watching her go. He returned to the bar and drank from his bottle again with a sigh. "Yeah, from a great book. So, take care of yourself, Rose of Sharon Cassidy. I don't want to have to kill your husband for lettin' you die after I gave you your life back."

At the door, she turned and waved back to him. She would have to make a trip back to Vault City at some point. It was strange how much her life changed from just a small trip. But for now, she needed to return to her family.


End file.
